just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
