hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
