I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.