dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
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he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
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Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering