i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
