I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
