I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
