For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
