so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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