Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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