all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize