okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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