Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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