he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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