remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
