Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
