Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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