Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
