guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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