Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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