God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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