i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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