I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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