i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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