dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
