I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize