Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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