We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
