Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
