I feel great
I just peed on a car
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
