I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
