Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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