I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
