I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
