didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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