I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
