cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize