last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Text me some of your sweat
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
