one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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