when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
