Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
