McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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