Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
