we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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