Tell her she can't have a vagina
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
