office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
