i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
