I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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