p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize