yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
