i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Good news!! I can adult!! ๐ turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ๐ญ๐
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? Youโre excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize