the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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