She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
