D3 body, D1 cock
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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