it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
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the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
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my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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