Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
