ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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