I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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