youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
