Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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