I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
